Ruminative

I’m angry.

I know it’s propelling me backwards, the toilet spinning the Aussie way and I can’t help it.

I don’t even want to help it. Me! Mine! My turn!

I’m too pissed off to do what I’m supposed to do. For anyone. 

And all this knowledge, this knowing that it really doesn’t matter which way the water goes down, it just makes me angrier.

I would like to know less.  I would like to be less.

“And here are your wings. Nice spread. I think you’ll be very happy with them.”

“Oh .. I don’t know if I want to fly… well maybe… yes I think I might.”

“Before you go… Here’s your weight.”

“Oh. Shit.”

*spiral flush*

My thinking isn’t off exactly. It’s just that it’s impossible

I don’t feel idealistic. I feel…Willing.

Willing and Unable Alone. 

 March 07, 2010