It’s not a secret if you never asked. It’s not hiding if you never look. It’s not over if it never began.
When buying dishes turn them upside down and check for a bowl effect. If the glass or bowl or plate can hold water there… it will… in the dishwasher. *gags* And then you will have to wash things after you take them out of the dishwasher. And I’ll tell you what that is, that’s infuriating.
If you are lucky enough to own camel toe slipper shoes of pillow comfy goodness ….. Do not abuse them by wearing them without socks for six months, only removing them to shower and sleep. You will be forced to put them in the washing machine and have to sit by the machine crossing your extremities and whispering prayers to Momi’s Underwear deity in the hope that what comes out is both clean and also still retains it’s camel toe slipper pillow comfy goodness. Then you will pull them out and they will weigh approximately seventy-five pounds and you will throw them in the dryer and have to listen to them fight for their life with a boulder you didn’t even know was in there. More than a week will pass and you will continue to check them for any signs of dry warm comfy goodness but they will still be wet and heavy and also not the same color anymore And though they will not smell bad exactly they will smell…. Wrongish? But if they would ever DRY that might improve. I’ll keep you posted. I think they might be dry by Autumn.
I know all the right things to do. It’s a list with empty boxes in my head. It’s just that checking all the boxes would be wrong. It’s just that all the empty is crushing any right.
I’m easy not slutty. There is a difference.
If needy was in neon lights it would blink UNAVAILABLE. You would read TAKE ME. I would stand still and wait.
July 13, 2009
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