Wednesday, December 23, 2009

On Inappropriate Coed Roommate Behavior

Do not answer a knock on your bedroom door wearing a knee sock as a shirt under any circumstances even if it's the sort of knocking one might do in the event of a fire as opposed to a phone call. And no it does not matter that it gave complete coverage. It is the idea that were you stacked the sock would not be enough that is just too much. It’s the motherfucking almost of it all that kills.


On Decking the Halls:

The lit Christmas tree makes me want to weep. I seriously cannot fucking stand it. I want to wrestle the postulating piney prick out onto the porch and beat the sparkling joy right the fuck out of it. I swear to you all it mocks me. Yes I know this is a full turn around from two weeks ago. What are you gonna do about it?


On Almost Thirty:

It’s such a goddamn relief to almost be unarguably an adult. Perhaps now I’m finally allowed to be childish. You’re going to want to back away as I’ve been saving up tantrums for about twenty five years of unfair. I need room for kicking.



*finger*


December 23, 2009

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