“Do you think we should be sorry for bald people?” I asked her idly.
“I’d be sorry for others if I were bald.” She did a voice, “I’m so sorry you have to see my scalp!”
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes! But WHY? It‘s just hair or no hair. What makes the head so different? We don't want hair anywhere else.”
“What is it about balding that makes men get shorter and rounder?” Deon remarked “It never fails. They start losing their hair and suddenly they’re shorter and rounder.”
“ahahahahha! Except basketball players. I think it has to do with too much testosterone. But probably I learned that from a late night infomercial from a hair club and it doesn‘t explain your theory, just the balding.”
“They just give up. They figure they’re bald so they may as well get fat and slouch.”
“Ahahahahahahahha! I wish I could go bald and get fat and just roll places. I bet they’re warmer. Yes! They gain the weight to stay warm ‘cause they’re losing body heat through their heads!”
“There’s this hairless basketball player. Freaky. No eyebrows at all. It‘s scary. I saw him at that game I went to. No armpit hair even!”
“Gawds we're mean. Just ‘cause we have an overabundance of hair.” *obscenely large hair gets tossed over shoulder*
“You started it!”
“No I didn’t! You did! Anyway, this is what I’m saying… is balding really the sort of handicap we’re supposed to tip toe around? It’s not even a handicap. Do we really feel sorry for them? It’s fucking hair. It’s not like they’re losing limbs.”
“They need hats. We should have fundraisers and hat drives. For the bald. Let’s do something for people living with cold naked heads.”
“I’ll blog it. Get the word out.”
“You do that.”
December 08, 2009
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