Monday, February 1, 2010

F*ckin For Footwear

“Those are some awesome boots.” I told some guy standing and chatting with Lori and me.

“These boots?” We all stared down at his boots.

“Yeah. It looks like you could hike Mt. Hood right now.”

“Yours are a lot shinier.” We all looked at my boots. They are super shiny.

“Different boots for different moods. Tonight I wanted to feel like a super hero.”

“You don’t understand - she’s a shoe whore” Lori offered.

“I don’t think I’d say whore.” I interjected

“…..Actually those are probably her size.” Lori had the nerve to point out.  “She wears a six.”

“What are you, my shoe pimp?!? And wait...you know my shoe size?” I asked incredulously  “How can you tell?”

“The boots you’re wearing now are a little bit too big for you.”

“They really are!! I bought them at a costume shop. They only had small medium and large. Am I walking funny? Errr... funnier than usual?”

“No. I can just tell.”

“Do you really like my boots?”  Some Guy asked

“Yeah. I wouldn’t just say that. They’re cool boots.”

*nodding all around from everyone*

“’Cause you can have them.”

“What?” I looked at his boots some more. Mostly so I wouldn’t have to look at him. They needed red laces.

“Well, not right NOW. But yeah… another time. They’re a six.  They’re actually a little small for me.”

“Oh sure. Small for you. But still. That’s a six in mens and I’d be a four in mens. ‘Sides you’re wearing them and you’ll wanna wear them again.”

"It's because you think my feet are too small."

“Nope. Totally not what I’m thinking.” 


February 1, 2010 

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