It Takes Two

Co-parenting is next to impossible. There. I said it.

Think about it. Even in a plane they’re not flying at the same time! They take turns. Well. If you want the real truth they just switch those little metal things up and down to make it look like they’re in charge of the giant flying coffin. And the captain gets to speak over the system and sound reassuring. It’s the drink people that keep planes in the air. You know. The people with that cart and the alcohol.

What the hell am I talking about? I have no plan here people. None. Just typing.

Oh right. It takes two = baby.

First time around I was solo. We didn’t even have a plane and there was friendly fire. So I don’t have a lot of practice. I’ve always preferred not to be partnered up for anything important. Like in school when you have to pair up with someone to complete an assignment. *groan* THE WORST. Am I RIGHT? Nobody else wants to wait until the night before stay up all night and bust out brilliance like it’s nothing. Plus they want to chat about what a dick their boyfriend is. *yawn*

I should sleep more. “where we’re going we don’t need tracks”  Doc

I can’t decide if even three of you will know what that means.

So I already had one baby when I “picked” (one night standed) a Daddy. Or he grabbed us and he had a really nice parachute. Something like that. And it’s a definite eye opener to choose a daddy. You’re not going to pick the same as you would for say… conversation or communication skills or whatever. Or maybe YOU would.

But honestly it was my kid. I was still in charge. And I know.. That’s not cool entirely for The Man. Not now seven years in.. but that’s the way we set it up in the beginning and so it is. And it isn’t as though he doesn’t play a huge parenting role because he does… really. I can‘t emphasize this enough. He DOES… he just does it my way in certain key areas I put my foot down on. But . It’s … the … right… way. *grin* I know. But seriously. It is.

And now we have OUR baby. (what it’s pc to say that.)

And damn it - it’s like he thinks he gets a say!


You might be thinking… what could there be to disagree about? Have baby. Love baby. *birds singing*


Awwww….. And maybe we can live in a flowery van too!!!!  (down by the river)

 Well I’ll tell you what we disagree about.

EVERYTHING. Nothing. EVERYTHING  mostly the things most important.

And I’ve been on a winning streak for so long I’m getting real nervous. Like eventually that alone will tilt the scale over for him and suddenly my baby will be shooting birds and downloading porn.

(NO HE WONT ANYWAY SHUT UP!)

We try and compromise.  But I have a HUGE advantage. 1. I’m doing the real time. 2. I know my shit. And 3. I can out word him in my sleep. SO most of the time compromise means “step up or get the hell out of my way”

that’s not what we SAY

This is what we say

Me “ blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah balha blahahhahahahahahahahah”

Him *biting own hand in frustration*

Me “SERIOUSLY??? blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Hey man?”

“sorry. There’s a dog in the yard.”

“awesome. AWESOME”

One of us exits.

And CUT!



But this is normal. Right? 

April 16, 2009