Open Letter

To Whom It Concerns,

I know why you think we’re not friends anymore. I know what you think I did. I know what I actually did. And I know it has shit to do with the demise of our relationship. I’ve never wished you ill. I’ve never wished you anything but exactly what you deserve. And I don’t mean anything bad by that. Honest.

And I understand why you read my blog. Aside from my awesome-sauce being all over it, you’re as much a voyeur as anyone and the idea that you might come up now and then wets yer panties. And that’s fine. I really don’t care. Read away. Tuck copies under your pillow. Carry it in your pocket like a note passed in high school. Wipe with it. It’s just words. You know...Perspective and angles and voice. It doesn’t mean anything.

What I’ve never understood about you is your inability to be direct. You have a problem with something I’ve said? There are numerous ways you could contact me. You could have said Surprise! I found you and I don’t like what you’re writing about me without using my name on an anonymous headless blog on mysack!  Really. I’m shocked you don’t remember what a goddamn sweetheart I am.

Anyhoot. Just wanted to wave hello. Just wanted to assure you your grievance made it through the grapevine. Just wanted to inform you the blog is only anonymous to outsiders. It’s sure not news to The Man. Or his brother. I suppose that’s your biggest problem with it. Still, in the future you can contact me through my inbox and maybe get better results. No hard feelings.

*moons you*


Dew

April 05, 2009