Bits and Pieces Abandoned in Word

Wrong gets easier every time.

What’s right again? No really. Help me patch my feelings back to my knowledge.

No don’t. I have a right in this wrong.

 No one will know. No one important. No one but me.

Free is arms out and tip tilt teapot screaming. Free is hair flying, air streaming, guts heart soul ablaze.

You can’t take anyone with you.

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“And this is my room.”  they stepped in awkwardly and he shut the door behind her. His eyes followed hers around the room. “It’s kind of a mess right now.” There was only the slightest edge of defense in his tone but it allowed her sit on the edge of his bed.

Scrubbing herself clean of sarcasm with deep steady breathing, she made his blanket smooth under her hand and his brow relaxed. “It’s nice.”  She considered the bizarre contradictions between mind body and soul. Blanketing mind with crisp scratchy tulle, long abandoned soul barely a whisper of doubt.

 She knew he would make the move eventually; that it had to be him,  had to be his miscalculation had to be his want, had to be him convincing her. It had to begin his same old move or the symmetry would be lost. She turned around slow before him, the tiny ballerina fixed on his tune before unleashing the prior years bent over inside the box.



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The way it was with you in the light of spring sunshine. Unexpected and natural to walk along knowing you were at the other end of my strides. The pavement bouncing under my feet urging me along. The feel of you just behind me when I bullshitted with the cashier. The heat of the lacquered picnic table where you spoke and I listened and you cursed the town that joined us. Not knowing how to stay or go. Forcing my legs to make the motions that would take me away from you. Turning to tell you what had always been true; “You know where to find me.” The way you squint at the bright. The way you turned away and kept going.  The way I couldn’t love you the same if you were any less than that man. The way I breathe while waiting for the next real breath. The way I wait.

April 11, 2009