Private Parts

Why are we afraid of our own bodies?

I recently went for an annual check up with my gynecologist.

After the nurse checked if I wanted to pee before the exam she explained the pile of fake fabric on the table/bed/exam thingy.

“This one is the gown.” she said “Open in the front, just tie it on loosely and then you can drape this sheet over your lower half. Make sure it’s loose too.”

I pictured her and the doctor often returning to complete an exam and finding their patient rolled tight like a sausage in the sheet. 

And excuse me… “GOWN?”  is this an evening party?? Will there be cocktails served after swabbing?

What the hell is the matter with us?

Buddha Mama pointed out to her son in her most recent post that the sheet is meant to protect the mother’s privacy in a birthing situation. That SORTA makes sense since sometimes birthing rooms can become family gatherings. And clearly there were cameras at the woman in the book Cracky picked out’s birth moment.

But I’m talking about the rest of us. Generally mothers on both sides of the gene pool like to be present at the very least. but... so the fuck what??? You wouldn’t want your own fucking mother to see what you’re doing under there? …. I mean… shit… that could scar her! She might realize where babies come from!! Oh the horror!

There were no party like gatherings when I had babies. I’m one of those get the hell away from me laborers. Hey if you’re not helping you’re just in the way. Also there was some hate. Okay, a lotta hate. At everyone. Maybe some yelling. It’s possible I kicked a nurse. Whatever. She wouldn’t listen!  Hmmm…  Maybe it’s not just medical circumstance that had me eventually put under anesthesia for both my children’s "births."

Now that’s privacy from yourself.

But I digress….

The privacy thing. In an exam. Think about it. The only view the sheet is blocking is your own.



What is it you don’t want to see?


And why wouldn’t you want your doctor to be aware of the head attached to the equipment below? 

July 22, 2009