There are moments when the only thing drawing my next breath in is the sweet smell that comes off the top of my childrens heads. Moments when I could weep for all the sucking in and pushing out of life they will have to go through. Moments when it doesn't seem worth it. Doesn't seem there's any reason for any of us to continue this farce. When any small bit of joy or beauty or love that we manage to scavenge for is a dirty rotten joke. Moments when it occurs to me that it might not be that people have a higher power to celebrate or pray to, that it might be that we need a higher power so that there is someone to shout and scream at for the aching empty hole we're in. Someone besides ourselves.
Because that's where I am. Beside myself. Trying to escape You. And me without You. And everything.
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