My child is in a strangers house right now. I drove her to a place we’ve never been and dropped her off where the balloons were. Oh sure I went in and shook some hands. Predictably I couldn’t tell you their names if lives depended on it.
This crazy lady turns to my niece and says “Isabelle it’s so good to see you.”
“That’s my niece, Calli.”
“Oh! Well look Isabelle has her hood up.. I didn’t recognize her!” the lady pulls my kids hood off while saying “I couldn’t see your red …” reveals my kids blonde head “oh… not brunette. Not brunette I knew that.”
I think the lady is stupid. Should I really be leaving my kid with stupid people? I mean besides school. And when the hell did I get in a place in my life where my daughter’s best friend is a nine year old boy? What the fuck? How is that even POSSIBLE?
And I didn’t ask any of the things I wanted to ask. Like…
Do you own firearms? Where are they? Show me I don’t believe you.
Porn? What kind of porn? Toys? Costumes? An adult room with chains and rubber walls?
Do you beat your children? How about verbal ridicule? Any molestations?
Should I worry about Uncle Pull-My-Finger over there in the recliner?
Is the big brother playing pocket pool relatively harmless?
Violent cartoons?
Is your kid annoying?
Does your kid know disgusting potty jokes I’m going to have to hear five thousand times?
Do you wash your hands after you pee?
Could ya not touch my kid at all?
Have you noticed your husband is a big giant pussy?
This is crazy! I mean… My gawd these people could be religious!!!
*leaves to retrieve child before she’s inspired to ask me what Jesus would do when I say no more nintendo*
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