Accidental Dating

It started when I would call Crispy to check on him. He was going through a painful divorce with his wife. Once or twice a week I would call in the afternoon or evening to see how he was doing, make sure he wasn't drowning in alcohol too much or needing to get out of the house. Then, his brother moved in with him and that was helping with the bills, and gave him some company.  It also gave him someone to answer his phone.

"Hi. Is Crispy around?"

"Yeah he's around here somewhere. What are you doing?" his brother would ask.

"Oh. Me? You know, the usual. Watching babies all day. That's about it."

And then he would talk my ear off for an hour or so. He talked about scaffolding, his hopes and dreams, the things he wanted in life. I would uh-huh and Hmmmm and generally felt the way you do when you're calling a friend and their significant other intercedes the call.

"Big D! Every time I call over there his brother answers the phone and talks my ear off for an hour!" I complained.

"Ahahahah! He liiiiikes you!" she teased.

"No he doesn't. He's just bored and lonely." I told her. And it was true.

One day I called because Crispy and I had tentative plans to hang around watching movies at his place. Of course he answered.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"It's my birthday."

"It's your birthday!? Well Happy Birthday!"

"Yeah."

"So, what are your big plans?" I asked him.

"Well. I guess we're all going to watch a movie." he said. "I'm coming to get you."

"Okaaaaay."

Big D, the babies, and I were out on the front lawn when he pulled up in the maroon Cherokee. The girls were splashing and playing in their kiddie pool.

"Oh my gawd, Dew(ed)!" Big D gasped and laughed "He's wearing a collared shirt! Look, lookit him!"

"Nooo! Stop it I'm not looking at him!" He was in the suicide lane in the middle of the busy road we lived on, waiting to make the turn.

"You're totally on a date. This is a date, Dew. And I bet he has slacks on. Look! His hair is gelled!"

"Shit." He got out of the car, talked to the babies and BigD and then held the passenger door open for me.

"So," he said. "You ready to go downtown and have a drink with me?"

"What?"

"It's my birthday!" he reminded me.

"I guess that's true. What about Crispy?"

"He's fine. Probably already in bed."

"Oh." There appeared no polite way to get out of this. "Well, then I guess so."

And we did. He talked a lot. He opened doors, bought me drinks I didn't drink and kept shoving me over to the inside of the sidewalk. Or maybe it's the outside? Something about ladies and piss pts being dumped from over-head. I don't know, but it pissed me off.

When he dropped me off I figured he was hoping for the good night kiss. I was out of the car in a flash.

"Hey, thanks for taking me out."

"My pleasure" he said, getting out of the car to walk me to the door. We stood there awkwardly for a moment, not making any moves. Finally I hugged him.

"Happy Birthday"

"Best one ever." he smiled and kept turning around to look at me all the way back to his car.

I suppose that was my first date with The Man, seven years ago, but we don't count it as our anniversary because it was another six or seven months until the big one night stand that we count as our anniversary date.



H A P P Y  30th  B I R T H D A Y  B A B Y

here's to avoiding you for the rest of my life ;)