This is a Dew Over posted last year on the old profile. I'm sure the writing bug will come back but in the meantime I'll torture you with reruns.
I didn't decide to become a mom before I was pregnant. Even after peeing on several plastic sticks and seeing the two blue lines running parallel to one another I wasn't sure I was going to be a mom. I wasn't ready, he wasn't right and I wanted better for my possible children who existed only in the future. This was the nineties, I had choices. So, I made the appointment. I went all the way downtown on a bus nauseous, scared and alone. I listened to everything the nurses said in a fog. Surely this wasn't me wearing the gown with my feet in the stirrups waiting for a doctor to undo two blue lines.
As I waited there I slowly became aware of my internal dialogue. I was thinking her. I could feel her. That little cluster of cells was counting on me. That's when I became a mother. With tears running down my face, in a torrent of extra estrogen and in pants already too tight I blasted out of that office and into the elevator. I even made it all the way to the restroom in the lobby before I threw up. I remember thinking, 'It can't get any worse than this'.
*snort*
Welcome to motherhood, the biggest thrill ride of your life. I'm not talking about parenting. I'm talking about being "Mom". These days there's only one big difference between being a mom and being a dad and nausea is just the beginning of it. Can you imagine the side effect warnings on this prescription?
Go ahead, ask your doctor about pregnancy today.
WARNING: (side effects may include but are not limited to)
Massive and quick weight gain, stretch marks, LABOR, possible abdominal surgery, hormone overload, firm perky breasts becoming milk sacks, ankles resembling elephant feet, vagina tearing to the point it is considered part of butt, death!
All in the first nine months! Then you have the sleepless months, the anxiety, the fact that a piece of your heart is now living outside your body as a separate human being who won't turn five before they've shouted "I hate you!" from time-out.
It's easy to share all the trials of being a mom and much harder to express why we love it anyway.
I'm going to share something my daughter expressed to me during tuck-in time this evening. She told me about a picture she drew of feeling sad. She said "My face was tiny but the tear coming out of my eye was this big." while holding her arms as wide as they could go. "The feeling was just too big to fit on my body."
That's what it is to be a mom. The feeling is so big it doesn't fit in your body. It certainly can't be fit into a blog and btw good luck getting it all on that tiny card that comes with the floral arrangement.
I had more to share about being a mom but Thatch woke up for no apparent reason and I have to try and convince him it's time for sleeping. That's right, the side effects are life long.
Mother's Day is this Sunday. Get on it.
Chop-chop!
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