TRAPPED

Well readers. Last night I attempted to get laid. I sure hope you're happy with yourselves. Everyone knows that if you TRY to get laid the results are always comical. Not comical to yourself of course. Not for weeks or years anyway.

What happened was he was nearly so asleep I couldn't wake him. But I was already naked and it was too cold to hop out of the bed without him so I kept trying. Then things were going along okay but we were still in the bed and on the other side of the bed (laying across my pillow 'cause that's where he likes to sleep) is the toddler.

We woke him up.

DAMMIT!

And the poor kid was so confused he thought it was morning, started demanding cereal! "I hunngy, Mama! I eat!" So I scrambled to find my damn underpants and tank and went out to the kitchen to put some butter on a slice of bread for him. He staggered out in his new footies and wobbled into a few walls before refusing the bread and trying to get back in the bed. So I got back in bed with him. But he was all wound up and crawling all over. He would appear to be almost asleep, I would be almost asleep and then WHAMMO! Small toddler crawls off the end of our GINORMOUS bed. I have no idea what time it was when the baby and I finally fell asleep. I'm pretty sure The Man remembers almost none of it.

But all of this I could get over. Am over.

I woke up this morning… and HE'S GONE! He left me a note, he and Little Dew are at the other house cleaning up.

Oh I know. You're thinking that's so awesomsauce.

I'M TRAPPED HERE YOU A_HOLES! He has the car seat in MY car which he took because I had the intelligence to choose a car with a hitch.

I have no cigarettes and I'm stuck on the edge of civilization with a small baby who wants to know where his sisser and daddy are. And I have NO idea when he'll be back. It could be 5 pm! I'm supposed to go buy school supplies today!

ARRRGGG!

I miss the city.  Don't tell The Man.


Do you suppose I could build a car seat out of cardboard boxes?

Did I mention I have no phone?

I do have a backpack for putting babies in. I just don't think I can carry Little Man that far. Eh. Give me an hour and I just might.

UPDATE! So.... I take back the name calling. The fucker just pulled in. .... I may have over reacted... what with feeling trapped.... oops. Of course if he has cigarettes it's immediate bathroom blow job time. but that's unlikely.