Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Requisite New Year Post

I'm ready to shake 2008 off my shoulders. Do you feel it? Gawds it's heavy.

What? I'm done with it.   I'm ready to strip it's grimy scrubs off my body, ready to scrape every cell that has any 2008 left on it right off my skin. *shaking head to toe like a maniac*

Get off me 2008! Go away 28 years old!

It's easy, you can do it too. Imagine 2008 is caked on your boots. Let this be our doormat. Let this be where we shake it off, the dirt and grime and stink and shit of it. I wish we could pound it like old school erasers. I want to spin and choke and dance in a cloud of it before it's gone.

Oh 2008! Give me a chance to twist and turn around you!  Let me hold you slippery and thrusting before I spit you back in your face.


For stomping on my cracked and needy hopeful heart…..  And for stopping.

For being exactly what I thought you'd be and me making you that way because I'm so scared of "happy"

For aging, fading, jading and johnny-come-lately-ing me another 365 days;


And now we come to a new page. We stand on that imaginary line between one made up year and the next. There are no more pages to flip past this year folks, buy your new calendar to fill in with the same fucking days.  Make your ever hopeful self improvement wishes. Call your family and wish them the same "Happy New Year" you're hoping for. Kiss your significant other with all the vigor of alcohol and confetti you can't seem to muster any other fucking Wednesday.

Not me. No changes here.

That's my resolution. I resolve to live 2009 exactly the way I lived 2008. All the false starts, and trying and giving up and learning and stubbornly refusing to let go of anything. I'm going to laugh and cry and yell and forget. I'm going to stand when I should sit and sit when I should stand and generally not lay down to sleep enough. 

Hello 2009! Hello 29 years old!

I can't spell  or type for shit! I don't want to speak another language! I don't "get in shape" and therefore never feel "out of shape".  I rarely read anymore! I drink nothing but mt dew all day every fucking day pausing only to smoke cigarettes heartily and with gusto! I don't even PRETEND to have any ambition to better the world or even contribute to the general cacophony of talents with my own other than my whiny masturbatory blog.

Oh 2009! Skipping all manner of foreplay I hop your rodeo ass prepared to last every day through. (jerking, whiplash and puking is to be expected)


My heart remains eager for a crack. Fool me twice. Fool me always and upside down.

My hope yearns on despite my intellect and knowing what's' "right" and "best" and "good" and "safe."

My body tick tockity tacks, knowing, growing, and flowing as many more days as I'm granted


Happy Dew Born New Year's Eve Day Everyone.

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