Almost Cousins

Sooo… I had this cousin. Except he wasn't REALLY my cousin. My uncle was dating his mom. And they never married so we never became family under the law. Anyway… we were sort of cousins.

I met him when I moved to Idaho, the summer between my sophomore and junior years in high school. My parents split up and my mom moved us to our grandparents house. Everyone lived at my grandparents house. It was a hippy commune. Without any hippies. Or communing. All the cousins stayed over a lot. Glad to see us all the time since we'd only ever seen them on summer vacations prior to this.

We would hang out. Go swimming. Spit watermelon seeds at one another. St off firecrackers in the pasture.


And camp in the yard.

One night, under the giant starry Idaho sky I ended up in the tent alone with The Step-cousin. I don't know where the actual cousins were. (fuck you, where WERE you people?) So there we were. In our sleeping bags. I suppose we were talking about something but I don't remember what. He was a real dip shit. Probably something really lame. Then the talking sort of slowed. The way it does when you're going to sleep. It was hot so the bags were not zipped.

Yeah. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his dick.

"What are you doing?" I said Of course what I was thinking was, Oh dear gawd now we're over the line and I don't know how to get back to the other side without drama. And also, what the hell is wrong with his dick? It was bent at an astonishing angle. This was the first dick I ever had my hand on without any fabric between us. and only the second if you counted that.

He didn't answer me with any words, he was making some odd grunting and groaning noises that implied we were already in the thick of … I didn't know what. His hand was still holding my wrist, his grip leaving an Indian burn as I twisted and turned my hand to escape.  Finally I wrapped my hand around him and started to apply pressure, increasing until he relaxed his grip on my wrist and I regained control of my hand, yanking it out of his sleeping bag.  "Dude, what do you think you're doing?"

"I don't know. You grabbed my dick."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Fucking tease."

"Dumbass"  I crawled out of the tent to find an actual cousin.

About a week later he approached me. "So we start school in a few days."

"Yeah. So."

"I just wanted to let you know we can't hang out at school."

I stared at him.

"'Cause I sort of already have friends, ya know?"

I laughed at him. "So you want me to act like I don't know you at school?"

"It's not like that, it's just…."

"Yeah. That's not going to be a problem, dude."



I'm still wondering who the fuck those friends were that he was so worried about. I never saw them.

Anyway. The POINT is… watch out for THOSE cousins. *nods*